1. According to modern day research, conducted by *clears throat* yours truly.

    Most of us have checklists describing the qualities of our ideal partner. It’s neither a good nor bad thing to have one shem. I’m not here to judge or to be judged, this blog is a safe environment. I’m just going to acknowledge that it’s real!

    No one should be blamed for having a checklist…

    Me, I also I got one. *hides*

    Why? It represents who I am and my dreams. It was something that I reckon most of us, at some point while growing up, were told to think about. So, when you find yourself daydreaming about your future “perfect” partner, you know exactly what to dream about and there ain’t nothing wrong with that at all.

    Lemme let you all in on some of the things on the my list:

    - Dude has to be attractive (even if its just to me).
    - Honesty. No one wants a lying somebody regardless of how much he says he did it to protect you.
    - Dude has to be intelligent. Last thing we all want is a dude whose all looks and no brains. What example are we trying to give our future kids? - Kind-hearted man. There is a nothing like a man who can make your heart melt by his warmth and treatment of others.
    - Funny: Ey, dude needs to be able to make me laugh hey. We can’t be spending the entire day admiring one another’s beauty the whole time hey. Even good looks get boring.

    - Financially Stable: Look, rent and electricity need to paid on time. So, dude must learn to be able to do best hey.

    - Chivalrous: Make me feel like a lady and remind me that you still know how to be a gentleman every now and again.
    - Charming: A dude who can make me blush is something truly worth the embarrassment that it brings with it all on account that your man made you feel like the only girl in the world hey.
    - Ambitious: There is just nje something about a man with purpose and vision about what he wants to do with himself hey.
    - Tall: Look… Am all about equal opportunity but you want to be able to rock them heels in confidence and without fear that your significant other will be made to look like a younger brother or sibling to you all on account that they are not on your level. Literally!

    Mind you, this is just part of the list! And maybe I’m lucky because my partner (my Mr Right Now) scores well on the stuff I just mentioned **high fives Mr Right Now** :-)

    Peeps, we need to admit that there is absolutely nothing wrong with an ever expanding list. It ain’t a F***** PROBLEM.

    Although, we need to admit that we need to keep our checklists realistic though. What’s the point in wanting a Superman, when you can’t turn into Catwoman and vice versa?!

    We are #TeamNoDoubleStandards outchea. You can’t be asking for a madam FHM while wena o le Mr Bona magazine. Aint nobody got time for that!

    What you do on the Left you do on the Right…comprehend? Good.

    I mean, there really is no perfect being/match right?! So why do we keep at it?! Re tlo tlhokofala re le single (we gon’ die spinsters)… Just keep your checklist flexible mara never settle for less.

    From this heart to yours…Xx ♥


    One!

  2. So, a few weeks ago I found myself surprisingly running into an ex of mine in town… And we exchanged numbers and well… Since then, we been chatting like some long lost friends. I mean, don’t get it twisted! There are absolutely no unresolved issues between us. We were about as much lovers as we were friends too! And dude, is happy that the friendship is still cool given the circumstances… Following that, one day my girlfriend happens to see a text from my ex and suddenly, I was accused of wanting to get back with my ex! Like really?? But before I get into the whole insecurities aspect of this kinda questioning some girls throw at us guys and which we have to deal with… Let’s discuss this whole “friends with my ex” topic… Jury of the court: “Is there anything fundamentally wrong in still being friends with an ex?” Most often response: “Yes, because why? Anything is possible!” So, you are telling me, regardless of the fact it has been eons since me and her were in communication or even had feelings for one another, you still think me and her are still in that place? Wait… So you are saying that “post me and her amicably parting ways with no latent or closet feelings left for one another,” you still reckon that it is still wrong for a dude to be in contact with their ex? But why though? Ok fine… Let’s go down the list of all the paranoia based assumed outcomes some girls reckon might happen: (1) You two are going to magically rekindle your feelings of yesteryear… (2) You two are gonna eventually hook up and then try keep it from me… OR (3) go against your paranoid disillusion and just be friends?! The last part, in your own words “anything is possible.” Will we ever get to a place where my commitment to you is stronger than the threat of an ex? Let’s be real here dames… You girls, entertain the thought of disappointment more than the thought of actually making a success of what we got going on here between us. So, clearly that’s something that needs to be addressed on its own. But in terms of the whole, friends with my ex bit… Y’all need to chill on that unless? (1)   Dude keeps denying that he is chatting with or received a text from an ex. (2)   Keep getting a silly dorky smile from a text that is not yours. (3)   Refuses to introduce you to her ex. (4)   Is a plain douche bag with all the signs of being a two-timing bastard J But… In the event that dude, is a genuinely legit guy with no latent feelings or unresolved matters with his ex… Try him out. Some of y’all chicken heads might be surprised to find that the reason he is actually not interested in his ex is because dude, really likes, or dare I say it, in love with you that much to not even entertain or consider his ex a threat to what you two got going on. One!

    So, a few weeks ago I found myself surprisingly running into an ex of mine in town…

    And we exchanged numbers and well… Since then, we been chatting like some long lost friends. I mean, don’t get it twisted! There are absolutely no unresolved issues between us. We were about as much lovers as we were friends too! And dude, is happy that the friendship is still cool given the circumstances…

    Following that, one day my girlfriend happens to see a text from my ex and suddenly, I was accused of wanting to get back with my ex!

    Like really??

    But before I get into the whole insecurities aspect of this kinda questioning some girls throw at us guys and which we have to deal with…

    Let’s discuss this whole “friends with my ex” topic…

    Jury of the court: “Is there anything fundamentally wrong in still being friends with an ex?”

    Most often response: “Yes, because why? Anything is possible!”

    So, you are telling me, regardless of the fact it has been eons since me and her were in communication or even had feelings for one another, you still think me and her are still in that place?

    Wait… So you are saying that “post me and her amicably parting ways with no latent or closet feelings left for one another,” you still reckon that it is still wrong for a dude to be in contact with their ex?

    But why though?

    Ok fine… Let’s go down the list of all the paranoia based assumed outcomes some girls reckon might happen:

    (1) You two are going to magically rekindle your feelings of yesteryear…

    (2) You two are gonna eventually hook up and then try keep it from me… OR

    (3) go against your paranoid disillusion and just be friends?!

    The last part, in your own words “anything is possible.”

    Will we ever get to a place where my commitment to you is stronger than the threat of an ex?

    Let’s be real here dames… You girls, entertain the thought of disappointment more than the thought of actually making a success of what we got going on here between us. So, clearly that’s something that needs to be addressed on its own.

    But in terms of the whole, friends with my ex bit… Y’all need to chill on that unless?

    (1)   Dude keeps denying that he is chatting with or received a text from an ex.

    (2)   Keep getting a silly dorky smile from a text that is not yours.

    (3)   Refuses to introduce you to her ex.

    (4)   Is a plain douche bag with all the signs of being a two-timing bastard J

    But…

    In the event that dude, is a genuinely legit guy with no latent feelings or unresolved matters with his ex… Try him out. Some of y’all chicken heads might be surprised to find that the reason he is actually not interested in his ex is because dude, really likes, or dare I say it, in love with you that much to not even entertain or consider his ex a threat to what you two got going on.

    One!

  3. Aaaahhhh, aaahhhh, ahhhaaaa JEA-LOU-SY!!! Have many of you have shown traits of being a jealous partner? Hands up… Just kidding, we’re just being serious. We know there are some of y’all who have wanted to wonder into your partners phones or less stalker like not, raid your man’s FB profile and follow up on their whereabouts to find out who they with besides calling you every two minutes. Any who… Today’s post is dedicated to such ladies, in confessional style and we hope that it warms your heart, gets you thinking and importantly, opening discussions about your own relationship. Enjoy… One!

    Aaaahhhh, aaahhhh, ahhhaaaa JEA-LOU-SY!!!

    Have many of you have shown traits of being a jealous partner? Hands up… Just kidding, we’re just being serious.

    We know there are some of y’all who have wanted to wonder into your partners phones or less stalker like not, raid your man’s FB profile and follow up on their whereabouts to find out who they with besides calling you every two minutes.

    Any who… Today’s post is dedicated to such ladies, in confessional style and we hope that it warms your heart, gets you thinking and importantly, opening discussions about your own relationship.


    Enjoy…


    One!

  4. Hi, my name is Josephine and I’m an undercover jealous person or girlfriend so to speak. I started dating when I was 16 and I’m 22 this year which means I have been dating for around 6 years now. As a bit of a stubborn person I have a bit of that IDGAF attitude towards certain things…what my partner gets up to and stuff…at times.

    I don’t believe in tying my partner down so I’d always let my boyfriends be (give them the freedom to hang out with their female friends and whoever they pleased really)  while I did my own thing. I wouldn’t be bothered because I believe that when I date you I trust you!

    According to some people something is wrong with me for not protesting every time my boyfriend goes out without me or takes pictures with girls and stuff…quite frankly I don’t see the need to be jealous here, I don’t think have reason to actually…even though I occasionally zoom into the pics and wonder who that girl is and the brush it off because a part of DGAF  *you have no right to judge me*

    Am I clingy? Nah! Am I jealous? Hmm well, maybe. Ok I am the jealous type, I just hide it well and so are many of us outchea. But I’m the mild jealous though unlike a friend of a friend whom I think has taken jealous to new extremes. She claims she loves it when her boyfriend is all jealous and stuff and calling her every split second to check up on her…for me this is like denying me my human right to oxygen but for her, all that is a piece of heaven. I just think being jealous requires serious devotion hey, it’s a permanent job.

    Ok I just made the entire insert about me oh wow how vain…anyway

    Jealousy can be a both good and bad…the good is that it serves as an affirmation to your partner that you truly care and would kill to be their one and only *yawn*. And it also marks your territory always clinging onto your partner’s arm nje, keeps the scavengers away…and well you are vigilant of their every move…*bleh*

    The bad side of jealousy…my opinion here…nobody got time that! It’s emotionally consuming, you invest so much time and energy into unnecessary, honestly, petty issues that can easily shake the dynamics of your relationship and eventually lead to lack of trust and BOOM a break up!

    Here’s how I see it when you are in a relationship with someone know where you stand with your partner and respect each other. I mean, out of courtesy, you let your partner know where you are and with who, you make them feel secure and genuinely stay away from actions that might jeopardize the relationship and cause the other party to jealously jump to conclusions or assume that there is reason to go out acting like a fool…obviously every relationship has it’s terms and conditions…

    Jealousy isn’t a bad thing but be careful how you apply it…


    One!

  5. With all the icons that have personified every type of female personalities in society… There is always one that defines an entire generation of beauty. For instance, there was a time when Liza Minnelli was the standard. Then it was Naomi Campbell or Halle Berry. Then more recently, Beyonce was the standard til a certain Rihanna became the standard. We all remember when girls started rocking Rihanna hairstyles like its the hottest thing, especially, the red hair wigs that were peeps attempt at pulling off the look. But if there was one woman, who we felt surpassed just being a icon of beauty for her generation, but rather became culturally relevant right across generations is Audrey Hepburn. To find out more about what we particularly like about her… Read below! One!

    With all the icons that have personified every type of female personalities in society… There is always one that defines an entire generation of beauty. For instance, there was a time when Liza Minnelli was the standard. Then it was Naomi Campbell or Halle Berry. Then more recently, Beyonce was the standard til a certain Rihanna became the standard. We all remember when girls started rocking Rihanna hairstyles like its the hottest thing, especially, the red hair wigs that were peeps attempt at pulling off the look. But if there was one woman, who we felt surpassed just being a icon of beauty for her generation, but rather became culturally relevant right across generations is Audrey Hepburn. To find out more about what we particularly like about her… Read below!

    One!

  6. So there are all types of women out there. Ratchet… Independent… Heaux… Beyonce… Hood rat… Ghetto… Diva… Stella… Madibuseng… Palesa… Jezebel… But there can only be one Audrey Hepburn.

    Who is Audrey Hepburn? For those not in the know… Factually, she is A was a recognised as both a film and fashion icon, during Hollywood’s Golden Age (basically, during the time of black and white classic Hollywood films). 
    Regarded as one of the greatest female screen legend in the history of American cinema. She is more notably remembered for the iconic picture in front of Tiffany’s jewelry store in her iconic look of a little black dress, pearls and black gloves.
    Not too wow in writing but heralded that picture of her was the flawless simplicity of her natural beauty, poise and elegance that had men captivated and women enthralled by this new image of beauty. 
    Why? 
    Opposed to the convention of blonde blue eyed beauty that was the standard at the time, she personified an era of raven haired, simplistic elegance and dare I say it… Natural beauty. 
    And frankly, I believe is still what guys today still look for. **quickly tears down Nicki Minaj posters and removes wallpaper from phone** Let’s be real here! In as much as every dude can’t help but be enchanted by a Fanta bottle proportioned bawde dolled up to the tee and dressed to subtly hint at what lies under her outfit. 
    Every men still wants her Audrey Hepburn. A woman of natural beauty, poise and unmatched simplistic elegance. 
    Why natural beauty in particular?
    Let’s be honest gents. Last thing we all want is to wake up next to a girl who looks nothing like the person you met and hooked up with last night at the club. 
    Why poise and simplistic elegance?
    Gents, we all want a girl we can be confident that when we introduce to our boys, colleagues and parents (should you get that far) won’t have to put up a facade to welcome as part of your life because they so don’t understand how you could see yourself with a girl like that besides the obvious of purposes of pure unadulterated lust. 
    Or even that, on a one to one level, feels compelled to always have to dress up and make up herself even for activities such as going to the soccer stadium. Like really now?
    Gents, who ever made it wrong to have a girl who is comfortable dressing down and not rocking make up just to kick it with her man?
    Who ever said that could never be the standard? 
    I don’t know about most of y’all but if I had the choice… I would rather have a girl who I can kick it with chilled than always dolled up and obligated to feel that unless I’m kitted out, am not ready for my man to see me.
    Plus I presume that with having to always stay looking great… A budget is needed. Care to take a crack at which of the two would better sere your pocket gents?

  7. This choosey Tuesday… We tackle Love Versus Sex. The debate continues! We are hella excited at this one because its one of those sobering pieces that kinda doesn’t the humor the blog is known for but actually does more hitting home though. Enjoy! One!

    This choosey Tuesday… We tackle Love Versus Sex. The debate continues! We are hella excited at this one because its one of those sobering pieces that kinda doesn’t the humor the blog is known for but actually does more hitting home though. Enjoy!

    One!

  8. Love versus Sex… the debate continues!

    In a time where sex is sold from everything from a chocolate bar seductively consumed by a highly attractive woman in an orgasmic state with each bite to a luxury house clad with hot beautiful women always seemingly emerging from the pool dripping wet, is it fair to say that sex can be weighed up to love?

    I come from a time and place where sex was the ultimate physical expression of love between two people. So kindly forgive me if I seem a little outdated or uncool considering that sex in this day and age, can actually be engaged devoid from emotion or a connection with your significant other.

    Is it still fair for us to say that we find sex you find love?

    Let’s not get it twisted. In as much as a “love connection” is important among two people, so great sex is also quite important. Imagine finding love but not but no great sex. F***ING PROBLEM!!! Thus, you need a balance of both in order to have a good relationship, even vice versa.

    But now in the event that sex is no longer regarded as a sign of love, what then becomes the ultimate physical expression of love between two individuals?

    I write this piece inspired by taking a narrator’s perspective of my budding sister’s maturity into teen and young adulthood. In particular, observing her journey of discovery into what will to extent determine and form as the benchmark of how she will perceive love.

    A quick example, is an instance in which, she has a recurring guy friend whom she has a lasting connection and friendship with versus the idea of a boyfriend that she wishes to one day introduce to us as her beau.

    The extrapolation of this, in terms of the topic at hand being; love is a place where, you seemingly have found friendship, freedom, honesty, trust, understanding and communication (as nicely stated by Frank Ocean) but personally, with the additions of commitment, contentment and merriment in another person.

     Versus a temporal connection that seems to instinctively drive one to explore a physical connection to that person, whether in the form of a dreamboat hunk who meets all of my physical qualities that I desire in a boyfriend and whom, I secretly hope has all the personality attributes I connect with in my very good guy friend.

    How does this tie in to love versus sex?

    One is an evident exclusive connection shared between the two people involved, i.e. I wish I had what Shona and Connie Ferguson have, versus one that is easily translatable to one person of interest to the next, i.e. Brad Pitt is hot, no wait, George Cloney is hot. Wait… I am not sure?

    Where am I going with this is essentially, I hoping to get some enlightenment about the earlier question I posed… If sex is no longer regarded as the ultimate physical expression of love between two people… What then becomes the ultimate physical expression of love between two people?

    Undying commitment?

    Great sex?

    Just a thought…

    One!

  9. So, am in a relationship and then this one magical night, I run into that someone who is everything and I do mean… EVERYTHING that I have always wanted! So, we are introduced. We talk. We click. We share a few laughs, coy smiles and those still moments where our eyes just connect for no particular reason but we both know that its attraction that keeps drawing our eyes. But we say nothing. Then one moment of being alone in a corner, we find our lips pressed against one another. Bliss! The evening ends. We part ways. Back to normality. Back to the arms I have called home for over 4 years now. I am content. Not because I was not caught but rather, I am back to the arms of love. I am back to the home I have built as my own. I am on my path to the beautiful future we have been and are still working towards. The spark versus the flame… The complexities of the heart. Eish! Though often made clear as day, upon retrospect… It’s often bloody confusing when you stumble upon that one thing that your heart knows it wants. The heart has got a mind of its own, I tell you! Its a mind that allows it be in love and fall in love all at once. And funny enough, its not like anything has changed. But rather it has stayed the same. Loved the same. Fallen in love just the same. Only difference being… It committed to one at one moment and fell in love with another at another moment. The spark versus the flame…  The complexities of the heart! One!

    So, am in a relationship and then this one magical night, I run into that someone who is everything and I do mean… EVERYTHING that I have always wanted!
    So, we are introduced. We talk. We click. We share a few laughs, coy smiles and those still moments where our eyes just connect for no particular reason but we both know that its attraction that keeps drawing our eyes. But we say nothing.
    Then one moment of being alone in a corner, we find our lips pressed against one another. Bliss!
    The evening ends. We part ways. Back to normality. Back to the arms I have called home for over 4 years now. I am content. Not because I was not caught but rather, I am back to the arms of love. I am back to the home I have built as my own. I am on my path to the beautiful future we have been and are still working towards.
    The spark versus the flame…
    The complexities of the heart. Eish!
    Though often made clear as day, upon retrospect… It’s often bloody confusing when you stumble upon that one thing that your heart knows it wants.
    The heart has got a mind of its own, I tell you!
    Its a mind that allows it be in love and fall in love all at once. And funny enough, its not like anything has changed. But rather it has stayed the same. Loved the same. Fallen in love just the same.
    Only difference being… It committed to one at one moment and fell in love with another at another moment.

    The spark versus the flame…  The complexities of the heart!


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  10. If you see the police WARN A BROTHER! This is the theme and sentiment for this week’s post. It’s dedicated to all the friends with an opinion about who we date. Even though their punk asses have about the same dating experience as a virgin girl born into a nunnery! With that being said… Enjoy! One!

    If you see the police WARN A BROTHER! This is the theme and sentiment for this week’s post. It’s dedicated to all the friends with an opinion about who we date. Even though their punk asses have about the same dating experience as a virgin girl born into a nunnery! With that being said… Enjoy!

    One!